The Nationals don’t make it onto the national stage very often, and when they do, it’s usually for the wrong reasons: the latest Bryce Harper fauxtraversy, lingering obsession with the Strasburg Shutdown, and–in some unenlightened circles–misconceptions about the Jayson Werth contract.
The Nationals play the Braves tonight on Sunday Night Baseball, which promises to be a rare appearance on baseball’s premier showcase. Since it’s ESPN, and John Kruk will be doing a lot of talking, expect a steady parade of the tired and insignificant topics the Nationals are too often associated with in this type of platform. And if you’re so inclined, and don’t have to work on Monday, participate in the drinking game below. Warning: it may be hazardous to your health. And only participate if you’re over 21 years of age, or 19 and watching from Canada.
Category I — Take a BIG sip of your beverage of choice if any of the below topics are mentioned on the broadcast
– The Strasburg Shutdown of 2012
– Game 5
– Jayson Werth’s salary and/or contract
Category II — Only take a small sip of your beverage of choice if any of the below topics are mentioned on the broadcast–and ONLY take a small sip because all of these topics involve Bryce Harper and we want you to live through the night
– Bryce Haper dragging his foot across the Braves logo
– Bryce Harper maybe being sent to the minors
– Bryce Harper hitting a walk-off home run on Thursday
– Any “conflict” between Bryce Harper and Denard Span
– Any comparison between Bryce Harper and Mike Trout
– Bryce Harper being benched in April
– Bryce Harper hurting his thumb in April (take a double drink if they show a replay of Harper injuring his thumb last night)
– Any mention of the word “Hustle” when talking about Bryce Harper
Category III – Bryce Harper getting booed
– In the event ESPN turns up the volume of the crowd when Harper walks to the plate, and the ESPN announcers stop talking so the at-home TV audience can hear the boos, start drinking and do not stop until one of the TV announcers begins talking again. This will probably happen, so have your beverage handy when Harper walks to the plate.
Category IV – Don’t be a Clown
– In the event any ESPN personality makes a joke about “clown questions””clown moves” or any other statement involving the word “clown” finish your drink and get a new one. You’ll need it.